I Refrain…

Your unabashed silence cut through my heart like a chainsaw,
Even the sharpest of words would never hurt as much.
The sea of distance between your heart and mine,
Can be swum and conquered with immense delight.
And, yet, I am afraid; hesitant; Fearful
of drowning myself in that bottomless sea of sorrow.

I often wonder how the world beyond this vast sea is.
Green, peaceful, cloudless and pure
Or, hazy, rueful, dark and dirty
I wish to discover, I wish to experience.
And, yet, I am afraid; hesitant; fearful
of losing myself in the wilderness of knowledge.

You will eventually come close and hold my hand.
Out of love or despondence I know not.
Sheer perplexity questions my ability to love. At all.
And, so, I am afraid; hesitant; fearful
of extending a hand that you, my dear, can clutch at all times.