Sunday, September 23, 2012


Can a continuous screaming inside your head make you deaf? No, don’t snigger. I really need to know.
There’s a screaming inside my head. I don’t know whose voice it is; I don’t know why it is so high-pitched and shrill. It screams continuously, without a break. No, I am not exaggerating. I doubt if it is human, really. No, it’s not a banshee; no, it’s not my mother. It’s an unfamiliar voice. Will I go deaf? I don’t want to go deaf. I’d rather know that someone’s screaming inside my head than not know at all.
It all started the day I wrecked my sister’s wedding. I walked in, scooped the groom in my arms and rode away on a black stallion. Okay, you got me. That’s a lie. It all started when I wrecked my sister’s wedding by shooting the priest. Luckily for me, nobody bore witness to this spectacle – officially speaking. Okay, officially speaking, you know I am not speaking the truth. By now, I guess, you’ve realized that I am not going to be telling you when it all really started – and does it even matter?
Maybe I will wake my son up and ask him if he knows anything about this? He’s two. Surely, he must know something by now? He must know why his mother’s skull is going to explode? Will he know, that little squicker?
Or, should I just ask his father about it? But does this thirty year old man get anything at all? There he goes snoring softly. That heaving, huge body. That familiar rise-and-fall of the growl of his breath. Oh, shut the fuck up, will you?
Ok, well. He doesn’t seem to be buying into this whole ‘telepathy’ thing for he is not shutting up. Not even shutting the fuck up. Not even fucking shutting the fuck up. You see where I’m going with this, right?
Oh, hell. I’ll just wake him up. If he knows that this screaming thing has been happening for the past…haha, I am not telling you for how long this has been happening! No! What if you figure it out?
You think you can make me tell? Ha. I’d like to see you try.
Coming back to me – my husband would actually scoff and ask “isn’t it always about you?” at this point, but since he is busy snoring… - should I tell him? Okay, let’s make this interesting – I bet you a million dollars that the moment I tell him this, he will calmly walk to the kitchen and get me an aspirin and a glass of water. Oh, you think I’m kidding? Bet, then! Wager away, my good reader, for you are about to witness the quickest way to make a million dollars.
Ok, hang on. Give me a minute to tell this ugly fucker that I have some issues.
So! What is it that you see in my hands? Oh, no! Oh, yes. It is a glass of water and a fucking aspirin. Pop the pill, shut the scream – really.
Hand me the money, won’t you?
By the way, I have no siblings.